My story as a single begins with the day I was born, but the story of my acceptance of my singleness begins about twenty years later ...
I had a crush on a friend who I was convinced was my soulmate. Well, when he married someone else, it hurt. A lot. I came to realize it was my fault for creating a fantasy world in my head and involving my heart along the way.
What else could I do but cry to God? When I did, an amazing thing happened: the hurt went away. I turned to Him to be my comfort and companion. I made the decision to be content and joyous in what He had given me, not mourn what He hasn't given. This was when I started claiming my singleness fully, putting my energy toward the gift I knew was definitely mine, not something that I wished was mine.
Now I still wait hopefully and expectantly. Not for Prince Charming (he doesn't exist anyway), but for Jesus, the Groom of the Church and for what God will do next in my life. I also decided that no one -- including myself -- would be able to hurt me again in that way, knowingly or otherwise, because I would not give myself those false hopes that go nowhere and are truly ungodly. I have learned the hard way the wisdom from Proverbs to guard my heart (Prov. 4:23) and Song of Solomon's "do not arouse or awaken love until it so chooses" (SS. 2:7 & 3:5). I've learned that the only love that is certain is the love of God who so decidedly loved the world that he gave his only Son to die for my sins. I'm chasing after that love, not the ephemeral stuff of the movies. My true hope is in He who made me, and He made me single so I am going to enjoy that as long as He allows me this gift.
