Surviving another year in singlehood

It's my birthday next week!

This year will mark my 33rd year of singlehood. Sometimes I wonder if that's long enough and other times I wonder if it's not quite long enough. Let me check my left hand ... ok, not long enough yet.

It's interesting to think on each person's different walk. Some will be single for their entire lives, others get married young so they're married most of their lives, and still others will get married later in life (perhaps past child-bearing age). I realize that if marriage happens for me, it's going to be in my thirties or beyond at this point.

That is so not what my girlhood dream was.  Who dreams of being single?  I was supposed to go to college, find a good man, fall in love, marry him, and start having kids by the time I was 25.

I have replaced that dream with a different focus now. That includes seeking my heavenly maker with my whole heart, finding my identity and purpose in him, and sharing my discoveries with the world. Sure, I still want to get married, but it's more of a back-burner dream. It's kind of an 'if-I-get-to-it dream' or -- better yet -- if it's God's will.  Marriage, kids, and family are wonderful things, but if that is the true desire of my heart and not seeking God, then even those things won't fill me.  And I have to say: I am full.  God is so good.  I love the Lord, His gifts, and the people He's given in my life to love.

One of the greatest gifts I think God has given me is the ability to enjoy the life He's given me.  I have that because I asked for it.  Will you ask Him, too?

A New Reason

I just thought of another reason to rejoice in my singleness: When I go home at the end of my day, my day is over. When married people go home at the end of the day, they have at least one other person that needs their attention. Their day may not be over until the lights go out ... even then, who knows? Small children can have a habit of making nights even longer and sleep shorter. This was a new realization for me this year.
Now, is that to say I never want this myself? No. I am, however, glad that is the way my life is now. If I ever have a family of my own, I will surely take on the responsibility joyfully when it is my turn. Currently, it is not my turn. I think of it as resting up and enjoying the moment. In moments like these, I can be glad I don't have those obligations for now.

Being Alone

A lot of people, probably many of them women, are very afraid of being alone. Not only being alone, but to END UP alone. I believe this fear consumes them, and because of that, they are incapacitated to move forward with a full, open, loving single life. I'd rather be single than with someone just because I didn't want to be alone.
It makes me sad to see women staying with men because they fear being alone. We all know that aloneness is possible even when people are around. What about seeking after Jesus who never leaves us? He says, "Surely I am with you until the end of the ages." And the words of God the Father "Though heaven and earth shall pass away, my love for you will not pass away." This is for all believers, and not just the married ones. We do not need to fear being alone because our God is with us, He comforts us, and promises never to leave us. No one on earth can make that promise and keep it.

My Birthday Blog - I Turned 32!

32 Reasons I Enjoy My Life as a Single

I've been single now for 32 years, and I thought I'd share 32 reasons I enjoy being single.  Here they are, in no particular arrangement:

1. Freedom to do as I please.
2. Opportunities to learn & take classes.
3. I'm responsible for only me - my mess, my problem.
4. I can be of service to others who may need it at a last moment.
5. I get to play with kids and then return them to their rightful owners.
6. More than OK, I enjoy my single life!
7. Traveling is a cinch when I've got the dough.
8. Spontaneous road trips!
9. Sole control over my bank account.
10. Free to follow my own pursuits.
11. I have 3 closets to myself.
12. A last-minute lifestyle is way easier as a single.
13. Hmmm, what to cook for dinner? Whatever I want.
14. I've got the time to spend with God I'm not sure a family would allow.
15. I own my own car - no more payments - that's right!
16. I own my own mortgage on a nice little condo, too.
17. I can give my time to church and serve there in multiple roles.
18. I get to go to rummage sales, garage sales, etc. at the drop of a hat.
19. I don't have the emotionally draining task of keeping up a relationship. (not now, not yet)
20. I feel like my life is still progressing positively, yes, without a man.
21. I feel safe in the love of God, friends, & family.
22. My life is so full of love that even though there's no erotic love, I don't feel it's missing.
23. My preference, when I have one, rules.
24. When I feel my life is moving slowly, it's not because of my lack of love life.
25. Actually I have a very active love life, plumbing the depths of my Savior's love.
26. I have only my schedule to reconcile, not two or even twenty!
27. I'm pretty busy right now - not sure how I'd fit someone else into that.
28. I like that people generally don't badger me about why I'm single...God's desire, that's why.
29. Single women live the longest. The most centenarians are/were single women.
30. I've had a long time to think about what I want in a man.
31. I have developed an understanding of who I am. I know myself better than I did 10 years ago.
32. I have my own blog about being single.

Chris Fabry Live Broadcast: Sacred Singleness 7/30/09

I heard a great broadcast addressing Christian singles on Chris Fabry Live yesterday. It starts the conversation of Christian singleness if you haven't thought about it yet, and it comments on issues we face as singles if you have already started to think about it. To listen click: http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_ProgramDetail.aspx?id=40624. His guest was Leslie Ludy who wrote Sacred Singleness.

I've been thinking about a lot of these issues for a long time, but this broadcast gave me food for thought and fuel for some topics I'll be addressing soon.

Why Be Single?

Why be single? Why embrace a singular lifestyle? Anything God gives is a gift to be treasured, and to all He has bestowed this amazing, wonderful, and generous gift of singleness. Do not refuse a gift He's given. Accept it. When God gives, it is good. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, to those who are called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28(ESV). Accept that blessing because it is for your good that He has bestowed it. It may not be your gift for the long haul (although also could be), but we should all learn to love the gift we've been given, especially while we have it. Paul says of marriage and the single life in 1 Corinthians 7:7 "Each has his own gift from God." We each have our own gift from God, but do we appreciate it as a gift from God should be appreciated?

I have spoken with married friends who have either expressed gladness at enjoying the single life while they had it, or regretting that they didn't take advantage while they were single. We don't need to make our lives less pleasant by spending all of our single life trying not to be single. God expects us to use the gift of singleness and marriage for his glory. Will you accept this gift with gratitude? Will you make your singleness about God and His glory?

Be Single-Minded!

I've found deep contentment, freedom, and even joy - yes, I said joy!- in embracing the single life. I want to share this with all who will listen because I know there are those that experience the exact opposite when they consider their life as a single.

So in starting this blog I'm saying be single-minded! Be single-minded in following Jesus Christ and be single-minded by embracing and welcoming this season of single life that you are in by God's design. I will be sharing my thoughts, discoveries, and encouragements for you here. So come hang around my blog and I'll share what I've learned in focusing on my single life in Christ.