Moooo-chas Gracias!

I did a little surgery in my kitchen. I volunteered to fix my sister’s (who is not seven but an adult Spanish teacher) plush talking cow that is supposed to say “Mooooooo-chas Gracias!” in a very masculine Latino voice. Pre-surgery, it sounded demon-possessed. Imagine major static over a loud-speaker with a satanic voice spewing and spitting an evil “muchas gracias”.

I successfully opened the plush, located the voice box, and cleaned up the corroded batteries. Well, after that he was his normal self, muchas gracias-ing all the way through the post-op suturing. But every jostle or bump had him saying “Moooooooo-chas gracias!” more times than I could count. It was like he was saying “Thanks for the fix” each time I jabbed him with the needle.

Now I’ve been in the ER to get stitches and, trust me, saying “thank you for jabbing me with a needle 12 times” wasn’t at the top of the mind. Things like “Ow” or “I’m scared” or “I hope that’s enough anesthetic” were more the thoughts. Definitely not “Thank you,” at least not until it was over. But this little cow – I shall call him Fernando – taught me a little lesson.

When God allows the jabs and pokes and discomfort in life, it’s appropriate to say “thank you.” It’s part of being molded and growing in His discipleship. It’s that big word: Sanctification. He’s fixing us. We know discipline is part of being his child, and all our struggles teach us. When he fixes us it’s usually painful – we have to face our brokenness.

So next time something is uncomfortable or downright painful, try to let out a “Moooooooo-chas gracias!” He’s doing something (don’t ask me what – ask Him!) and it’s for our good, not harm. And it may even help to laugh some too. Try it – try saying “Moooooooo-chas Gracias” without smiling.

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

"For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it." Hebrews 12:11

Who Doesn't Love Gifts?

Image courtesy of tiverylucky at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Picture this: Christmas morning, kids opening presents and playing with their new gifts. Except for one. She's trying to play with her sister's gifts. Her perfectly wonderful gifts lie among the crumpled gift wrap, still under the tree, ignored. What would any of us tell this kid? "Leave your sister's stuff alone. Go play with your toys!" "Yours is over here. Look how great your gift is!"

This happens just about every Christmas somewhere. But it also happens just about every day in the hearts of many singles and, sadly, even married people. They want a gift that's just not theirs.

Singles often miss their own gift of singleness because they are so focused on getting out of Singleville. In 1 Corinthians 7 Paul says of singleness and marriage “But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.” (ESV) Singleness and marriage are different gifts from the same shelf. Neither is better or worse. Both are good. (If you read the whole chapter, you’ll see Paul say singleness is better. But he’s biased. :-)

Some married people ignore their gift because they are trying to relive their single years, or don't really want to give up the single lifestyle. Some feel that marriage was a mistake. Wherever their hearts are, they too need to focus on the gift that is currently theirs. It's the same goodness as singleness, just different.

Wait, though. Some gifts are complicated and kids can't figure them out. Or maybe they need to grow into a clothing size. Singleness and marriage are like that too. They need to be played with and examined to be understood and appreciated. Maybe, like Aunt Bertha's sweaters, we'll fit them better as we mature.

When it comes down to it gifts are not about what you get, but the relationship between the giver and the getter. In both marriage and singleness, the giver is the same -- God -- so cherish what is yours and quit wishing God gave you the other gift. He's the best gift-giver in the universe! I think He can be trusted to get it right for, well, just about everyone.

Share below how you're going to try fitting better into your gift.

The Ten Contentments

         “Thou shalt not murder!” When we think of the Ten Commandments, a great booming voice with thunder crashing and lightning from atop a mountain come to mind. Foreboding. Ominous.

While this is Biblically accurate, I saw things differently in the words last time I studied the Ten Commandments.

The Ten Commandments actually begin with the line “I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.” God’s specific instructions follow, but because of this opening line I also saw God pleading with the people He loves to find their hope in him, to be contented in His care.

While God is giving His “Thou shalt nots”, beneath that surface I hear “Trust in me and be content that I am working for you. I will guide you, fight for you, and save you.” Maybe you’ll hear them too.

You shall have no other gods before me.

Be content that I AM is your God. There is no other.

You shall not make for yourself a graven image.

Be content with faith in the great, beautiful unseen God. No image of any other creature compares.

You shall not take the name of the Lord in vain.

Be content to only use His name honorably. Trust He answers His own when they call His name even though He is unseen.

Remember the Sabbath and keep it holy.

Be content with His provision for your needs. Content in your limitations and God’s strength to provide all your needs

Honor your parents.

Be content to honor the authorities God has placed in your life.

Do not murder.

Be content with God’s gift of life and free will. Allow the Lord to fight your battles.

Do not commit adultery.

Be content in your commitments and to honor others’ commitments.

Do not steal.

Be content with God’s blessings on others.

Do not lie.

Be content to let the truth stand or fall on its own.

Do not covet.

Be content with what God has given you and has not given you.

God is continually welcoming us to draw closer to Him. While His commands may begin with a negative, He always punctuates His words with love, accompanied by an invitation to trust and find our contentment in Him.

Check me out on SmallGroups.com!

Hello all!
I have written activities to be used in small groups as icebreakers, team builders, or just for fun!  They've been posted at SmallGroups.com which has a lot of other resources available for small groups. Click to go to the Either Or activity or click through to try Color-Coded Quirks.  Try them out and let me know what you think!

Plugging a New Small Group Resource

A new FREE resource is available through SmallGroups.com!  The SmallGroups.com Digizine was pretty much my first encounter with a digizine.  Yes, it's exactly what it sounds like: digital + magazine = digizine!  You click on the table of contents, and link to the article.  You turn the page, and Erwin Lutzer starts preaching!  Will the innovations of this digiworld -- yes, digital + world -- never cease?
I can see this becoming a resource I will return to for fresh ideas and encouragement .  The digizine has everything from guiding small group leaders in a right frame mind to a new kind of brownie recipe that I might try soon.  Even the ads in the 'zine were helpful!  The Resource Review on small group for the kids is something I will follow-up on for our ministries at church very soon.

I hope as singles we are all seeking to be in smaller fellowships like a small group, life group, or home group ... or whatever you call your holy handful.  As single adults, we don't have our own families like our married friends, but we should be in fellowship with people in the family of God.  So find a small group to join and if you're not in one, start one!  Use the great resource available through the Digizine to get started!

It's Not About Dating

I am just going to put a little blurb out, but first I want to welcome my new followers!  The following on the blog just jumped 300%!  Thank you for coming and joining in on a topic that I think is a very important one today as Christians.  The single population in general is larger than in the past, and the Christian population also reflects that so I think it is a very important topic to be thoughtful about.  Thanks again.

So, I had a thought while doing a google blog search to see if my blog came up (it wasn't there!).  A few blogs came up in the search for "Christian single" but not one of them was speaking on encouraging each other simply as singles.  They all had dating talk on it, which isn't wrong but dating isn't what the Christian single should be about.  They were speaking about the dating encounters they had and talking about how to get guys to ask you out more often.  It sounds to me like they are perhaps Christian, but still dating the way the world does.  I take issue with that only because Jesus told us to be in the world, but not of it.

As single believers, our main goal is not to get married or be in a dating relationship.  We should be about our Father's business as modeled by our brother, Jesus (Luke 2.41-52).  Sometimes our business here on earth requires that we have a marriage partner at some point, sometimes not.  Marriage is not even going to exist in heaven; it won't be essential to eternity (Matt 22.30). God does not emphasize marriage as a single person's goal.  Show me the passage in the Bible that proves I'm wrong, and I will silence myself and say no more.  God does not even emphasize marriage as a married person's goal!  Our relationship with him is the object of our hope, not relationships with others.

So if that's not what our minds should be on, then what's our focus?  Colossians 3:3 says, "Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things."  Jesus said that marriage is an earthly thing.  Even though it is important, people who are married shouldn't even be setting their minds on the here and now.  I know they have plenty to be concerned about, but Colossians was written for everyone, not just singles.  We set our minds on the hope that Jesus Christ cares for us now and that he is returning to claim us, his own. We set our minds to having faith that he not only cares, but that he aids and comforts us.  We set our minds on love, his great love that caused him to lay his life down for terrible sinners that he sees as precious children in need of true love.
Until next blog ...

Surviving another year in singlehood

It's my birthday next week!

This year will mark my 33rd year of singlehood. Sometimes I wonder if that's long enough and other times I wonder if it's not quite long enough. Let me check my left hand ... ok, not long enough yet.

It's interesting to think on each person's different walk. Some will be single for their entire lives, others get married young so they're married most of their lives, and still others will get married later in life (perhaps past child-bearing age). I realize that if marriage happens for me, it's going to be in my thirties or beyond at this point.

That is so not what my girlhood dream was.  Who dreams of being single?  I was supposed to go to college, find a good man, fall in love, marry him, and start having kids by the time I was 25.

I have replaced that dream with a different focus now. That includes seeking my heavenly maker with my whole heart, finding my identity and purpose in him, and sharing my discoveries with the world. Sure, I still want to get married, but it's more of a back-burner dream. It's kind of an 'if-I-get-to-it dream' or -- better yet -- if it's God's will.  Marriage, kids, and family are wonderful things, but if that is the true desire of my heart and not seeking God, then even those things won't fill me.  And I have to say: I am full.  God is so good.  I love the Lord, His gifts, and the people He's given in my life to love.

One of the greatest gifts I think God has given me is the ability to enjoy the life He's given me.  I have that because I asked for it.  Will you ask Him, too?

A New Reason

I just thought of another reason to rejoice in my singleness: When I go home at the end of my day, my day is over. When married people go home at the end of the day, they have at least one other person that needs their attention. Their day may not be over until the lights go out ... even then, who knows? Small children can have a habit of making nights even longer and sleep shorter. This was a new realization for me this year.
Now, is that to say I never want this myself? No. I am, however, glad that is the way my life is now. If I ever have a family of my own, I will surely take on the responsibility joyfully when it is my turn. Currently, it is not my turn. I think of it as resting up and enjoying the moment. In moments like these, I can be glad I don't have those obligations for now.

Being Alone

A lot of people, probably many of them women, are very afraid of being alone. Not only being alone, but to END UP alone. I believe this fear consumes them, and because of that, they are incapacitated to move forward with a full, open, loving single life. I'd rather be single than with someone just because I didn't want to be alone.
It makes me sad to see women staying with men because they fear being alone. We all know that aloneness is possible even when people are around. What about seeking after Jesus who never leaves us? He says, "Surely I am with you until the end of the ages." And the words of God the Father "Though heaven and earth shall pass away, my love for you will not pass away." This is for all believers, and not just the married ones. We do not need to fear being alone because our God is with us, He comforts us, and promises never to leave us. No one on earth can make that promise and keep it.

My Birthday Blog - I Turned 32!

32 Reasons I Enjoy My Life as a Single

I've been single now for 32 years, and I thought I'd share 32 reasons I enjoy being single.  Here they are, in no particular arrangement:

1. Freedom to do as I please.
2. Opportunities to learn & take classes.
3. I'm responsible for only me - my mess, my problem.
4. I can be of service to others who may need it at a last moment.
5. I get to play with kids and then return them to their rightful owners.
6. More than OK, I enjoy my single life!
7. Traveling is a cinch when I've got the dough.
8. Spontaneous road trips!
9. Sole control over my bank account.
10. Free to follow my own pursuits.
11. I have 3 closets to myself.
12. A last-minute lifestyle is way easier as a single.
13. Hmmm, what to cook for dinner? Whatever I want.
14. I've got the time to spend with God I'm not sure a family would allow.
15. I own my own car - no more payments - that's right!
16. I own my own mortgage on a nice little condo, too.
17. I can give my time to church and serve there in multiple roles.
18. I get to go to rummage sales, garage sales, etc. at the drop of a hat.
19. I don't have the emotionally draining task of keeping up a relationship. (not now, not yet)
20. I feel like my life is still progressing positively, yes, without a man.
21. I feel safe in the love of God, friends, & family.
22. My life is so full of love that even though there's no erotic love, I don't feel it's missing.
23. My preference, when I have one, rules.
24. When I feel my life is moving slowly, it's not because of my lack of love life.
25. Actually I have a very active love life, plumbing the depths of my Savior's love.
26. I have only my schedule to reconcile, not two or even twenty!
27. I'm pretty busy right now - not sure how I'd fit someone else into that.
28. I like that people generally don't badger me about why I'm single...God's desire, that's why.
29. Single women live the longest. The most centenarians are/were single women.
30. I've had a long time to think about what I want in a man.
31. I have developed an understanding of who I am. I know myself better than I did 10 years ago.
32. I have my own blog about being single.

Chris Fabry Live Broadcast: Sacred Singleness 7/30/09

I heard a great broadcast addressing Christian singles on Chris Fabry Live yesterday. It starts the conversation of Christian singleness if you haven't thought about it yet, and it comments on issues we face as singles if you have already started to think about it. To listen click: http://www.moodyradio.org/brd_ProgramDetail.aspx?id=40624. His guest was Leslie Ludy who wrote Sacred Singleness.

I've been thinking about a lot of these issues for a long time, but this broadcast gave me food for thought and fuel for some topics I'll be addressing soon.

Why Be Single?

Why be single? Why embrace a singular lifestyle? Anything God gives is a gift to be treasured, and to all He has bestowed this amazing, wonderful, and generous gift of singleness. Do not refuse a gift He's given. Accept it. When God gives, it is good. "And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, to those who are called according to his purpose" Romans 8:28(ESV). Accept that blessing because it is for your good that He has bestowed it. It may not be your gift for the long haul (although also could be), but we should all learn to love the gift we've been given, especially while we have it. Paul says of marriage and the single life in 1 Corinthians 7:7 "Each has his own gift from God." We each have our own gift from God, but do we appreciate it as a gift from God should be appreciated?

I have spoken with married friends who have either expressed gladness at enjoying the single life while they had it, or regretting that they didn't take advantage while they were single. We don't need to make our lives less pleasant by spending all of our single life trying not to be single. God expects us to use the gift of singleness and marriage for his glory. Will you accept this gift with gratitude? Will you make your singleness about God and His glory?

Be Single-Minded!

I've found deep contentment, freedom, and even joy - yes, I said joy!- in embracing the single life. I want to share this with all who will listen because I know there are those that experience the exact opposite when they consider their life as a single.

So in starting this blog I'm saying be single-minded! Be single-minded in following Jesus Christ and be single-minded by embracing and welcoming this season of single life that you are in by God's design. I will be sharing my thoughts, discoveries, and encouragements for you here. So come hang around my blog and I'll share what I've learned in focusing on my single life in Christ.